The Cultured Girl

Spinach stuck in the front teeth, an open fly, an unbuttoned blouse–while these are the staples of situation comedy, they are also very real embarrassing moments. When they happen to you, all you can do is laugh and blame bad luck. When you realize they are happening to others, step in and help.

A co-worker’s body odor, smelly feet, or bad breath is an extremely sensitive issue. We are all loath to tell a person about body odor, yet every time we ask our business seminar participants which they would prefer–not to be told about an offensive odor or to be told about it by a friend or manager–invariable, 100 percent say they’d want to be clued in by a friend. So the next time you have a friend who has body odor, consider what you would want him to do if the roles were reversed. Be a friend: Enlighten him.

Here’s how. Do it privately, and start out with something like this: “Bill, because I’m your friend, I’m going to say something that is really difficult. But I know if the roles were reversed, I would want you to say something to me So here it goes. I don’t think you are aware of it, but you have a problem, and it has to do with body odor. Some of us have noticed it and we’re worried that it may have an effect on your advancement in the company. I’m telling you this only to help. Can we talk?”

–Emily Post’s the Etiquette Advantage in Business, 2005