The Cultured Girl

First, a bit of background: I probably own more varieties of lip balm than anyone I know. I have been addicted to the stuff since 6th grade, and as a result, everyone I know is always buying me tubes of whatever brand they come across. So a lip-balm endorsement from me is truly a well-informed opinion (unlike most of my other opinions).

So it is with great pleasure that I recommend Mentha Lip Shine made by C.O. Bigelow, the Greenwich Village apothecary whose products are now sold at Bath & Body Works. I love this stuff for so many reasons, from the delicate, minimalist packaging to the tingly, minty flavor (advertised as a breath freshener) that doesn’t conflict with my gum. Of course, it also moisturizes well, but what’s even cooler is the super-high-gloss finish that gives you a fresh, polished look in lieu of lipstick.

For years, globetrotters have sworn by melatonin as a weapon against jet leg. I, too, have always considered the supplements a cultured girl’s travel essential — popping one pill before bed really does seem to help me adjust to a new sleep schedule — but I always wondered if it was a placebo effect. Apparently not: According to a new study by Harvard Medical School and Brigham and Women’s Hospital, taking melatonin was significantly more effective than a placebo in helping people sleep. Melatonin is a hormone normally produced by your pineal gland at night, so taking a supplement before bed in a new time zone tricks your body into thinking it’s bedtime, even if it’s 3 p.m. in your hometown. You can also use it to readjust when you return from vacation. Plus, it’s not a sleeping pill by any means, so there are no weird side effects or grogginess. The pills are easy to find over the counter (try your local GNC), or you can buy a bottle online at drugstore.com.

I’m a notorious over-packer, which is why I was thrilled to discover a brilliant little online store called Minimus. The site offers travel-size packages of just about every toiletry and cleaning item you can think of–from Bounce dryer sheets to St. Ives Apricot Scrub. Not only does it save precious room in my suitcase, but I love that I can buy individually-wrapped products, say a Woolite pouch for 39 cents, and forego the mess of filling up plastic containers and buying more than I need. Plus, it stocks higher-end drugstore brands like Pantene and Dove that I rarely come across at my local Walgreens. It’s a resource that’s sure to lighten any Cultured Girl’s load.

Yes ladies, there’s another antioxidant-rich food to add to the grocery list. Guava is on “the cusp of greatness,” according to Specialty Food Magazine. The USDA recently released data indicating that the fruit may contain levels of antiaging, disease-fighting antioxidants that put it on par with broccoli, blueberries, and the latest celeb produce, the pomegranate.

That’s not the only sign guava is on the verge of super food stardom: Earlier this month, the Wall Street Journal anointed the tropical fruit, “the next chipotle.” It seems that food companies, on the prowl for new exotic flavors that can boost sales, are interested in adding guava to sodas, teas, vodkas, and cheesecake.

Other bizarre flavors that the Journal suggests could be the next Chipotle?

*Leather: We all like to smell it, now the flavor business thinks we should have the opportunity to eat the new car smell too. Already Fat Duck’s trendsetting chef Heston Blumenthal is combining leather flavoring with black olives and serving it alongside strawberries.

*Pine: Better left to trees and Pine-Sol? Food manufacturers don’t think so. Dagoba Chocolate is currently creating a candy bar containing Douglas Fir flavor, and New York chef Wylie Dufrense of wd-50 has used pine extract to spice up cotton candy and gin drinks.

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As recently as age 25, I could stay up all night while consuming massive amounts of alcohol and still look perky the next day. Now, give me two gin-and-tonics and 5 hours sleep, and the dark circles under my eyes suggest that I’ve just spent a week traveling by Greyhound bus.  That is why I now swear by Origins’ No Puffery cooling eye gel. I just dab a tiny bit under each eye after a rough night; it tames the puffiness and the haggardness, and the icy sensation wakes me up. A tiny bottle goes for $20, but it will last six months to a year, depending on how much you overindulge.

For people with fine, limp, and just plain bad hair, Dirt is a purported miracle potion. And after a long absence, it’s finally available for sale again! I asked my mom—and her self-proclaimed head of bad hair—to weigh in:

In 2001 I completed a 60 miles endurance walk and celebrated by getting a great haircut. The stylist sold me a mysterious black jar of Dirt by Jonathan Salon, which made my horrible hair behave like normal hair. The little black jar lasted over a year, but when I tried to get more, it disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared: The Jonathan web site was under construction.

Imagine my surprise when Jonathan Antin, formerly of Dirt, surfaces on Bravo in his own reality show, surpassing Paris Hilton in the dual talents of being both vapid and annoying. After watching the show, I vowed I would never buy his products again, no matter how wonderful they are. Fast forward to this week: A friend with a similar hairdo calls to tell me that she has discovered a fab new product, Jonathan Dirt Texturizing Paste, for $23.64. I thought I was over my love affair with Dirt, but who am I kidding? I need it. I want it. I have to have it. By boycotting because of Jonathan’s annoying personality, I am only hurting myself—and my hair.

If you live with a roommate (as I do) or a significant other, it can be embarrassing to carry out certain beauty rituals, like bleaching your upper lip or lounging about the house in a face mask. My skin is important to me, but I like to get this sort of thing over as quickly as possible. That’s why I love the highly affordable Biore Self-Heating Mask (available at most drug stores), which takes all of two minutes from start to finish. You just wash your face, squeeze this weird gooey stuff out of a tube, massage it into your face for 60 seconds, then wash it off. As the name suggests, it feels warm as it goes on, and though I’m not sure how the technology works, I do know that it clears my pores and leaves the far-from-flawless skin on my face feeling ridiculously smooth and even. It’s over so fast that no one has to know about your stupid beauty rituals but you.

Take heart: You could soon be buying the world’s first organic condoms. This is actually a pretty interesting article about how a company in Brazil is harvesting latex from natural forests to make socially responsible contraception. They aren’t on the market yet, but you can get free samples at some Brazilian government buildings. Good to know the next time you’re in Brazil picking up hot treehuggers.

Though none of us care to admit it, we’ve all had those less-than-graceful tumbles down the stairs, more often than not thanks to a few glasses of wine. When one Cultured Girl (who shall remain nameless) was left with the mother of all bruises after a particularly nasty spill, her horrified waxer introduced her to the wonders of Arnica cream. It only took a couple days before the bruise miraculously began to disappear. Turns out, Europeans have been concocting remedies from the “Arnica Montana” plant for centuries. 16th-century mountaineers supposedly chewed it to relieve aches, and it still works just as well on modern-day shiners, inflamed joints, and sore muscles. It’s a must-have for any athletic, or clumsy, Cultured Girl. You can pick up a tube online or at your local Whole Foods or natural products vendor.

Stores like H&M and Forever 21 are great because they let you experiment with items, such as oversized $3 earrings and oversequined $10 tank tops, without much cash (or regret). Trader Joe’s has the same effect on me: You just can’t get too worked up about buying a bad wine if it’s only $5. So I was delighted to learn that a similar store exists for beauty staples: A Korean chain called Missha that the Village Voice calls “the Trader Joe’s of cosmetics.”